I would like to first say that the US is one huge freakin land mass. I never knew that the highways could wear away the human rear-end. I say this because after my husband left the military, we began the "oh so fun!" journey to our home state of Texas. And might I add that trip was 1600 miles going the short route! Cramming everything into a Ford Crown Vic, we embarked on the tourturous first leg of the trip (yes foreshadowing is in effect) heading from upstate New York, (30 Min from the canadian border, for those of you who don't know). You never have met cold until your butt feels like a frozen butterball turkey stuck in a freezer six months out of the year. This was always brough to my attention by my husband while we laid in bed. "Honey, uh do you mind shifting the main course for thanksgiving over a few feet?" Just for those who haven't had the honor and damned priviledge to meet my better half (which is very debateable), my man has a quick wit, hard head, and neverending talent for making light of any situation through his humor. Oh and might I add, he had his best friend and war buddy travel with us. I had no problem with this due to the fact that he is a good family friend and "uncle" to my children. He shall be refered to as "joker" in future postings.
Now as we return to the trip from the black abyss, let me describe to you what I am dealing with in this tank we call a car. Picture if you will, a former police car, (my husband loves speed and such) Kevin (my husband) and Joker in the front passenger seat. My son, eleven months old at this point, is seated in his car seat on my right. A crap load of household goods on my left with no room to move. Here is where the trip goes to hell. At the time, I was seven months pregnant with our daughter, crammed into the clown car. I say clown car because with the combination of Kevin and Joker, the ride was often like sitting in a comedy club. Other times, I wanted to kill the lot of them. I was always having to pee, which men love while trying to make great headway on a 1600 mile trip through hell. I was not real moody, but damnit I had times that I was going to snap. With Kevin Jr. screaming and crying, me having to pee, and the never ending urge for food, my only saving grace were the two comedic geniouses piloting and navigating our tank down the long and endless road. Did I mention long? To save you from every event that doesn't need to be mentioned, we made it home to see our family which we had'nt seen in two years. After our stay with the grandparents we regained contact with a good and dear friend of ours which we shall refer to as "The Wench". (you know who you are hun) Kevin, after leaving the military started to pursue his education in flight. He is currently working towards his commercial pilots license to fly for a career. So what better place to learn? As "the wench" is also a military wife, she had endured her own family's move and was now in the Seattle area where her husband is stationed. She heard that we were in need of a temporary place to stay until we got back on our feet after the military, and being the awesome person that she is, opened her arms and home to us. Thus...begins the second journey. Now before I begin this next fun filled event, I should add that my daughter decided that she wasn't going to wait another month and was born on March 12th of this year. Did Kevin decide to upgrade to a larger vehicle? Why do that? So yes fellow adventurers, once again we pack the clown car with the same crew as before with one new addition. Because of the left rear seat now occupied with my little girl, I was sandwiched between my children. We had just enough money to keep food in everyones belly and fuel in the tank. So did we get to sleep in a nice motel or hotel? Nope! I had the wonderful time trying to stretch my legs into the front seat of the car and not have my head end up in one of the kids laps. I'm a small framed woman so thank god nothing else was squeezed into the back of that dang car. So where did all the crap go that was there? TO THE ROOF! Kevin and Joker strapped a cartop carier to the top of the car, and loaded it with more baby stuff then one could imagine along with what other sanity we could muster. So... WASHINGTON HO! Now, I must say that this trip was much more interesting then coming from yanks town. The scenery was incredible. Mountains, valleys, beautiful sunsets and finaly the ocean! But in between we had miles and miles of nothingness. However in the long run, was well worth the vast wasteland of states like... Kansas! Once upon arrival in Washington state, our moods were much lighter and the butts much more saggy. As my husband described... "I'm here, but my ass is in Dallas." So friends, here we sit in a wonderful state with wonderful people. Let's just hope that Kevin doesn't have to move to Florida... Awe Hell, Why Not!
